finally

i am single, again, and this time it was me who walked away.
why does that feel so good to say?
maybe it's because this time i don't feel abandoned or at all confused.
i feel redeemed and vindicated and ready for some new things.
my mom is working again, THANK GOD!
so guess who's getting her car after all?
merry christmas to me!

i am back to smiling because i am genuinely happy,
and not to soothe anyone elses mind.

i saw yessi today, it made me sad and happy.
it's crazy how someone can go from being your bestfriend,
to a distant stranger.
theres no bad blood or anything,
we just drifted.

anyway, i saw her at the nail salon,
and we kinda caught up, but the shit was awkward as hell.
we exchanged numbers atleast.
i guess i'll call her so we can link up and do lunch or something.

have i mentioned lately how much i hate my job,
or moreso the old hags that i work with?
well, i do.
and i am dreading friday.
i have to go in at the crack of dawn to help cheap ass people,
so i can't go get my cheapassness on.
i wanted to go to the walmart and go buckwild.
i'm talkin pushing old ladies,
knocking over strollers, just to get in and buy nothing.

but instead i'll be at work, sleepy as hell.
ok, thats enough of my rambling. there may be more later.
does anyone even read this? let me know if you do.
i don't update often, i'm going to work on that.
i guess i'll give out the link too.
ok, i'm done now, for real.
deuces.

temporary layoffs

...do not lead to good times, no matter what esther roll says.
they mean i've got to get another job so i can help with the bills.
they mean no new car, even though i've been saving for 6 months.
they mean my mom is depressed again and turning to alcohol.
they mean i have to be the breadwinner for a family of 5 & i'm only 18.

life isn't always easy, or fun, or even fair.
it's life.
it contains a full spectrum of situations, good & bad.
and you need the bad times to appreciate the good ones.
as bad as things are they could always be worse.

so i'm still smiling,
i'm still laughing,
i'm still finding joy in the little things.

it's what i have to do to stay sane & balanced.

sweet little angel eyes

classic disney!
polly was my FAVORITE movie as a little kid.
my cousin had it on tape and i made her mom make me a copy.
i know all the songs to this day.
-searches thru vhs tapes to find my copy-
what i wouldn't give to be a kid again.

numero uno.

i don't really know what to say.
how do you start one of these things anyway?
i guess i'll introduce myself.
the name's liz, and i guess if you're reading this you probably already know me to some extent,
but if you don't i guess this is as good a place to start getting to know me as any.
i'm actually just getting to know me,
so i guess you are joining me on this journey, so yay for you. lol

this last month has been the most
tumultuous,
troubled,
emotional,
tear-filled,
painful,
and scary
time in all of my 18 years.

i hate to give one person that much power or credit,
but he's done a number on me, let me tell ya.

i'm just picking up the pieces, and as broken as i am,
i still know that this is all for my greater good.

it's a stepping stone to improving so many aspects of my life.
i wrapped my life so tightly around him, that i couldn't even see all the changes i needed to make.

i was afraid to even do this.
scared i'd read it in a few months and be mad at myself for being so down in the dumps.
but my new homie platypus said it can help me
"look back and see how much u grown".

i think he may be right.
but we'll see.

we shall see.